Everything (nothing)

Everything, nothing... More of a free form story than a song, but curious, nonetheless. A lonely walk down an empty, late night street with a lot on my mind. To be or not to be? No, to feel or not to feel, that is your question.

A couple of my... not so much my obsessions, but my fascinations come out in this song. I love eyes, and I love the ocean. I really like the line about telling my secrets to the ocean... she's the only one who will know. The ocean is one of the only things that can really calm me down when I get worked up. A lot runs though my mind, but the water is so vast and beautiful, the sound of the waves so calming.

One New Years Eve, instead of going to a party for the ball drop, I drove off to the beach, about 45 minutes away. When the clock struck midnight, I was alone, a lot on my mind, but my feet were in the sand and the waves celebrated my new beginning, and for a few moments, everything (or nothing?) was perfect. Not what the song is about, but it's a testimony to how the ocean has a hold on me.

And eyes... people give away more information than they mean to in their eyes. I've felt for years that I have a pretty good read on people, and it all comes from how they look at me. When they're speaking, when they're acting, when they're not... If you really want to know me, just really look into my eyes.

But without further ado... (adieu?)

Everything (nothing)

I walk listlessly down the blocks that don't notice that i'm here, like a flipbook of badly drawn sketches of poorly taken photographs. Maybe I'll ask myself when I'm not myself just what I'm doing here.

So, hey... would you know me if I told you my name? These city lights can't see us, still we hide just the same. I'm sorry I feel foreign to you, I can't quite help it. Never mind the credits. Check the liner if you really wanna know. I'm myself only for the duration of the show.

That's me, between our skies, don't ask me any questions. If you really wanna know just look into my eyes. Try not to be thrown back.

If I weren't so damn stubborn, I might take my own advice. I'd clear my head, a break from these streets would be so nice. I'd sit and write my secrets in the sand, sing my childish heart, and let the ocean wave hello. She's the only one who will know.

My life is like a sketch, a one line drawing, shaken - i'm no more. A thin black line in dull surroundings, but I guess that's all I care to know. A momentary masterpiece turns into another genius theft. I hide my eyes and spin around, gray's all I have left.

A muddy walk once more around the block... a siren alarms, perhaps it's for me, but it whizzes by. I'll wonder what's going on - so curious - i won't know 'till morning when I check the paper and read about another broken politician, broken window, broken life, and all the things that I don't want to be.

I get me to an elevator to rise above the streets, above another me that I don't want to meet. And I hate it, but don't let the sounds stop... the silence makes me ill, and the noises will always hide my whispered secrets.

To feel or not to feel, there's your question.