Awwwww Yeah. Booyah Achieved.

Wow... someone printed up bbt T-shirts for me...

I cannot describe in words how much that rocks. Now I have to record some music so the t's actually mean something.

If anyone wants a t shirt, lemme know. You can write me at jasoncliles@gmail.com. Leave me some contact info. We'll work something out. ;)

Anyway, Booyah achieved. I love the paper plane logo. And on each shirt, the paper plane is in a different place. BBT shirts are like a box of chocolates...

In ladies fashion....

The style for gentlemen....
The logo up close.... sorry it's sideways... i'm lazy, but maybe i'll fix it later....



Aaaaaand the paper plane logo on me....

The Artist Revisited - Audio

I'm still alive. Here's an mp3!

The Artist




Leave some comments and let me know what you think.

Reader Art

w00t

Notes

hola, mi amigos.

lo siento, i've been fairly silent the past two months or so. I've got a few more songs and a couple more audio tracks for ya if you're still around.

I did want to take a moment to thank those that check this place out. I wish more of you would write in, say hello, talk music. whatevs. (i like using outdated slang... i might as well be 67 years old). To give you some scope, i have received traffic from:

the US, Canada, the UK, Spain, the Philippines, the Netherlands, France, brazil, Italy, El Salvador, Slovakia, Belgium, Argentina, Australia, Germany, Slovania, Vietnam, Poland, Peru, and Lithuania. I've got hits from half the states, too (CA, WA, NV, UT, MT, NM, AZ, CO, TX, LA, MO, IL, MS, TN, FL, GA, SC, NC, VA, MD, OH, PA, NY, CT, MA.

Holla if ya here.

With Thorns (Like Violence)

New-ish song... been a while since I posted. Enjoy.

With Thorns (like violence)

well, i swear it felt like something was there
but i look at the time
it's time again for your doubts
tell me, what are you so afraid of?
scared to fall?
or just scared of falling apart

in the twilight we'll escape
...the moments that don't treat us right
in the twilight we can slide away
...just hold me in the cold of tonight.

you... beautiful.
you... crucible.

for a moment there i lost myself
you say you've run cold
well, it doesn't get easier
so why is it that you're holding back?
you're not sure
and you don't know what this means

but in the twilight with the air so heavy
...i forgot to breathe
in the twilight, just have faith in me
...we'll both get what we need.

you... unusual
you... should know.

Mmm... like violence.

But you... beautiful
you... crucible
you... unusual
you should know.

Banana

Finally, something a little recent. I wrote this for my band in San Diego.

I'll let you take what you want from the song. The title needs some explaining, though. It has absolutely no connection to the song. During band practice, we were always very easily distracted. Sometimes to get everyone's attention, I would say something really absurd (and really loud) into the microphone. Once I yelled "I am a banana" before this song and it did the trick. From then on, whenever we started this song, I would yell "banana." And the name stuck. Even after the band broke up.

Banana

there must have been a time we knew what we wanted
but here i am barely keeping my head afloat above this
sinking city - ready or not - pins and needles - here it comes
this ends tonight, this ends tonight!

we are artists, are we waiting for muses?
...this is not amusing, waiting for our masterpiece.

let me touch, let me taste.
let me lose. let me waste
my last breath to tell you my name.
let me find something obscene.
let me lust. just let me be.
i'm incomplete.

blinded by hindsight. these city lights, they burn my eyes
and no one wants to listen anymore
confused by the scene... of sweet uncertainty
this carnival, it ends tonight!

we are artists, are we waiting for muses?
...this is not amusing, waiting for our masterpiece.

let me touch, let me taste.
let me lose. let me waste
my last breath to tell you my name.
let me find something obscene.
let me lust. just let me be.
i'm incomplete.

somewhere scribbled on a napkin...
...are words that can change the world.

let me touch, let me taste.
let me lose. let me waste.
let me find something obscene.
let me lust, just let me be.
let me miss, let me lie,
let me blur between the lines.
let me trust, let me try.
let me pretend. don't ask me why.
i'm incomplete.
i'm incomplete.
i'm incomplete.
i'm incomplete.

Two in the Bush

No comment...

Two in the Bush

everything in this room
right here finds its way back to you
but tonight's the last night
that i can think of you

your hand holding a kiss
that you blew from your wrist.
once. lost in transit
but i didn't let go. until the end.

i need to close my book
on all the songs
i've written you
and while i now fly free
he is just a bird in hand.
intentional.
how's this for goodbye?

my song holds a kiss
that grazed your lips. once.
but should it lose its way
i'll not stop singing. until the end.

so how's this for goodbye?

he is just a bird in hand
chasing away the ghost of what could have been.

Stop

In my head, the "stop"s are as much musical as they are lyrical. There's an abrupt pause whenever I say it. ::shrug:: Hard to describe what's in my mind.

Another song from a few years back where I'm kinda sick of my life at the time.

Stop.

stop
it's getting crowded in here
and its hard to say what i need to say
stop
it's getting too loud to hear
it'd be a good time to get away

can we go out for a while
and get rid of this place?
i'm saving my good days for later
...enchante

stop
things got so complicated
today kinda caught me from a blind side
stop
it's been silver plated
but it seems i never have the time

can we forget this please?
just leave it behind by turning the car keys.

can we go out for a while
and get rid of this place?
i'm saving my good days for later
stop
can we go out for a while
and get rid of this place
i'm saving my good days for later
...enchante
but not today
just not today.

Jaded

Ummm... this song was inspired by a stripper. Her stage name was Jade.

It's not really about her. It's not ABOUT anything, really. It just describes the feelings I'd get sometimes... the unlucky thoughts that'd keep me up all night... and the people and places where I'd often hang out when I was down.

As far as the song goes, it probably needs a bridge...

Jaded

get jaded
and call out
don't take for granted that that's expected

get jaded
or fall out
it's different to know you're being neglected

i see
you're green eyes
they do nothing
if you don't smile

so help me lose these unlucky thoughts
they could haunt me until dawn
let me lose them in your arms
i want to be jaded all night long

get jaded
and hold on
it can get dizzy, chasing my tail

get jaded
or move on
do i even have a name?

i see
you're green eyes
they do nothing
if you don't smile

so help me lose these unlucky thoughts
they could haunt me until dawn
let me lose them in your arms
i want to be jaded all night long

Strong Coffee

I just chose an arbitrary name pulled from one of the verses. Enjoy.

Strong Coffee

sitting
thinking
searching for the ways
to break out of his cage
watching the sun creep down
hoping that it's not too late
a reckless mind that won't put on the brakes

go let it out

stuck, then
waiting
listen to static on the radio
anything to chase the silence
that makes him think
they all say that it's ok

go let it out

don't put it off a little longer
it's every day's tomorrow
just take the first step and trust
the rest of you will follow

yesterday
had to stay
he remembers that she said
to go take a chance
his coffee's too strong like his mom used to make
but it's not the reason for his shakes

go let it out

moving
tomorrow
he tells himself he's treading in the water
and in the sunset and in the static
this is the end
this is the end of something

go let it out

don't put it off a little longer
it's every day's tomorrow
take that frightful first step and trust
the rest of you will follow

Weeping Willow

I can hear this in my head as a very dark, moody song. Not too wordy in the way of lyrics, tho.

I dated a girl, and once when she was crying her hair spilled over and it reminded me of a...

Weeping Willow

lay there with your face in my pillow
hair spilling over. a weeping willow.
you finally showed another side to me.
now, roll over and weep in the shade of my tree.

where do you go for your inspiration?
is it your television shows or your afternoon drinks?
you just shake your head when you spill your coffee,
but how long can you fake being happy?

and i know
you don't want this.
this is not what you want.

you lay there with your face in my pillow
hair spilling over. a weeping willow.

Moving On

In an attempt to speed up this process, I'm not gonna comment much.

Besides, we've all been here before...

and ugh... crappy title. Any better ideas?

Moving On

we've been through this before
said these same words, sang this same song
we've been through this before
and it's getting easier to leave you
i'm starting to get used to this
i'm sorry, but it's come to this for now

i'm gonna climb this like a mountain
before i come tumbling down
swim it madly like a river
just before i drown
i've been here before, and it won't be the last
but this time, it's time, it's time
moving on

somehow thought it'd be different
bite my tongue, i'm losing patience
the taste of leaving is blood and salt
it's time i'm moving on
the words are in the pictures
i'm moving on
moving
moving on.

It's about that time

I have slacked off again. The goal of this blog was to get all my music down before I moved. I have only... let's see... fourteen days left in San Diego, so I'd better get to work.

If anyone reads this, I appreciate your patience and hope you enjoy the next two weeks of posts. It's about that time...

I'm going to town.

Windows + Waves

Well, welcome back.

Take your own meaning from most of this one, but there are a couple things to point out. One, I love riding in airplanes. I love looking down out of the window. That simple. Two, the "making wishes by making waves" part is about throwing quarters into a wishing well. We make miniature waves. I also love the ocean and dreams. It all kinda fit...

Windows + Waves

dress your kids in denim
and hide them neverending
camouflage them from the sin
and all the leaks beginning, alright?

walk your pets at night and
just maybe you can hide them
from all these people's prying sights
it's not for them to decide

if the days fall a little too early
will we rise a little too sleepy?

to see the answers so far away
are we fool enough to look away
from windows on airplanes?
are we fool enough to believe
there is a better way?
like making wishes by making waves...

dance over in the corner
and be seen by none other
but you'll shake away the boredom
that holds you in its covers

while you sing a song for no one listening
about the denim, about the sinning
the clouds from the airplane wing
and then ending that's beginning

and if the days fall a little too early
will we rise a little too sleepy?

to see the answers so far away
are we fool enough to look away
from windows on airplanes?
are we fool enough to believe
there is a better way?
like making wishes by making waves...

M.I.A

My apologies to anyone who actually reads this blog for the long hiatus. I've been on the road working for about two and a half weeks. We'll return to our regularly scheduled blackboxtheater shortly, as I'm finally home for a few days.

In the meantime, I'll give you some reader our from our friend [MAQ]Designs over at -simply stated-. Thanks again, maq...

Autumn concept art

Not a Day Goes By - Second Hand Live

Here's a video of my former band Second Hand's performance of Not A Day Goes By.

Enjoy!

Not a Day Goes By

This song was written about my desire to move to San Diego when I was younger. Surprise, I'm here. The title came later after some friends moved out here before I actually made it out. They referred to San Diego as Dego (day-go), which formed the original song title Not a Dego By. That being too... cryptic (?), offensive (?), I changed it to the current title.

The map I refer to really does exist...

Video tomorrow!

Not A Day Goes By

sick of pulling straws
i plant my feet, they're taking over
time and time again
they just keep getting shorter

well, i bought a map today
i put pins into the places that i've been
and places i'd love to be
but san diego is just so far away

They set him up To watch him fall
But can you see him Up on the wall?
Mark one up, Let it be known
That San Diego, I'm coming home.

i've lingered long enough
and i'm sick of screwing up
i'm tainted with the lust
for a sunny day in california

look at that map today
and laughed at the boy who would take it over
his ideas fit like puzzle pieces
but san diego's just so far away

They set him up To watch him fall
But can you find him Up on the wall?
Mark one up, Let it be known
That San Diego, I'm coming home.

i'm sick of waking up
to a bleeding alarm clock every morning
hit that button one more time
and pause our lives for ten more minutes

this shower can only wash away
this city once, do it every day
i'd wash it away for good
if san diego weren't so far away

They set him up To watch him fall
But can you find him Up on the wall?
Mark one up, Let it be known
That San Diego, I'm coming home.

Epic

This was written in the same coffee shop, but it was a little later and I seem to be a little more upbeat. Good.

The verse where I describe laying in a field is about a painting. If I could remember who painted it or what it was titled, I'd show you...

Also, for those still paying attention, I use lines in this song again later... Keep your eyes open.

Epic

(mmm, yeah)
(my head’s a little cloudy)

Parts of my mind are missing this morning
My head too cloudy to be piecing together such a story
About a memory we once knew
And how a thought can become an endless journey

Slide over, lemme have a seat
Let’s take another look at this
We are rhythm, are we waiting for muses
This is not amusing, waiting on a masterpiece

In my head
In my head
I hear there’s a surprise ending
In my head
In my head
This is not the end, not the end

Last night I think I had a dream
My legs were broken, I was laying in a field
I looked out into the distance
For something to save me, a single tree
I reached my hand
I closed my eyes
My legs again
Supported me…

In my head
In my head
I hear there’s a surprise ending
In my head
In my head
This is not the end, not the end

We.
Are.
Epic.

Reader Art!

Concept art for Soldier. The hotness. Special shout out to [maq] designs for this. Thank you. :)

Check out her creative talents at -simply stated-

The Art of Dying

Oh, young [my name is jonas], why are you so sad?

The Art of Dying

Twinkle tonight little star... just remind me
while i spend the night... laying awake
open window by my bed... fresh air, find me
bottle of wine and sleeping pills paint the art of dying

twinkle tonight little star
starry nights aren't very far from starless dawn
open book next to my bed
a lonely poet struggles with his greatest song

art is hard.
here's to the art of dying.

tonight's the night... let me shine
open up my masterpiece... the art of dying
the good guy goes down... in this final scene
a grand blaze of glory... the art of dying

twinkle tonight little star
just to remind me that autumn leaves are raining
they sprinkle their pain onto the ground
here's to the art of dying.

art is hard.
here's to the art of dying.

goodbye.

Intervention

I was depressed and drinking a lot, acting the fool... that's basically it.

Intervention

on rainy days with pink elephants
i dance in cabarets
the bars are my stage

with unnamed shots and loose bellyflops
kick it into autopilot
it's time i got off

take hold of me
i don't want control
turn my face red
don't shake anymore

when tongues get tied in noisy tribes
i think i'll try
to let it slide

it won't let me stop
'till myself is gone
not me anymore
but my body's still going

which way did he go?
i must apologize
you must understand
i have an evil side

come out, come out wherever you are
just one more and another one more

This is Really Happening

I'm going to post a trio of songs tonight. They're all depressing coffee shop songs. I'm heading out of town for a few days, so I thought I'd post several this week to keep anyone reading occupied.

This Is Really Happening

Flatscreen parents
Internet presidents
Do you fear its presence?

This is all around

Botox humans
Litterbox ashtrays
Can you feel the falling yet?

It’s falling all around

Laughing pigs
Screaming hygiene
Tearing and then burning down

It’s burning all around

Collapsing money
Bulls and bears fighting
Leave before the bitter end

There’s bitter all around

Poison diamonds
Migraine ideas
Spinning around your head

Heads spin all around

We’re clawing at doves on strings
The beasts encircling me
Stop the air from bleeding me
This is really happening

One More For Tonight

There is a page in my songbook that only reads "6 months later." Seems I took a hiatus from writing for a while. This is the song just after that page. There are a couple handfuls of songs that came before this that I haven't posted yet, but I've kinda lost order anyway. Besides, after tonight's posting frenzy, it seems fitting to finish with a song titled....

One More For Tonight

let's face this from another angle
it seems that's when things start looking strange
it's not the camera lens after all these days

put it into place
put it into place
put it into words i can say
let's try another day
let's try another day
today is moving in mysterious ways

don't compare to all the others
that's when it'll start to get a little strange
people just all react in different ways

so when it's time to let it out
don't hold back, now, don't hold back

put it into place
put it into place
fit it in between your usual ways
let's try another day
let's try another day
and forget for now that today remains

can see things from this other angle
and be satisfied that it's all strange
chance is not the problem after all these days

so when it's time to let it out
don't hold back, now, don't hold back

it's there if you listen
just take the permission
to take what you're missing
and lock up the confusions so you
don't hold back, now, don't hold back

put it into place

K

This one is bitter. I'm not bitter anymore, but I was at the time. No further comment.

K

there were holes in my thoughts about you
gaps i missed along the way
but they're there. and i'm ok.

that was a clever first impression
if i may, you played the card well
but hearts turned out to be spades.

when you left, you left me dizzy
i imagined it far more painful
then... you made it easier to be ok.

watched me stumble around clumsy
still with clever false impressions
until the real k came out to play.

would it be so hard to play the truth?
a clever first assumption made you right
made you think it was ok.

but we all know how assumptions go
you made an ass of yourself
and unleashed the ass in me that day.

so now it's easy to wash my hands of you
watch the dirt swirl down the drain
my hands are clean. and i'm ok.

i hope it's what you wanted
you should have been kind and left me pining.
i don't care now if you're ok.

One New Years Morning

One thing I learned growing up around songwriters... never break the heart of a musician. You're bound to end up in a song somewhere.

None of these songs will ever go on to be hits. In fact, they probably won't be read by more than thirty people. Still I wonder, though, what the people I've been involved with would think if they knew that there was a song about them.

I try to keep the commentary pretty vague. For the most part, I have not named any names. Those that really, really know me already know the situations I may hastily describe, and those that do not won't be any wiser. Even so, I hope that the people I write about are flattered. It was in the past, but they all should realize that I cared enough at the time to put the situations into lyrics.

My songbooks are my most valuable possession. Most of the songs may not be great, but they are the moments of my life, both wonderful and terrible.

Anyway, this one is about one who got away...

One New Years Morning

come walk with me a while
tomorrow, start anew
for now let's dance in the twilight
let the stars plan our steps tonight
let's gaze at the sunrise of a new years morning

i know it's january
but let my feet stay bare
the more i feel, the less i'll forget
so let me stand with another's prize
and never lose the sunrise of this new years morning

...these are the things that i think about...

i regret that awkward goodbye
i knew, never again
lost you with a simple word
a single word that i would take back
...a thousand different times
...on a thousand of these mornings
...let my stinging feet remind me
...that i am not asleep

let me rest my grasp
let her fall asleep
with the one she really wants
a better version of me
but i hope that she remembers still...

...these are the things that i think about
.........like watching the sunrise on a new years morning
...these are the things that i think about
.........i don't think i could stand forgetting.
.........and i don't think i could stand ever being forgotten.

On a Highway, Just Before Dawn

These are some of my musings after a fun, all-night event. I was driving home from the beach just before dawn. She was a schoolteacher.

The song isn't that great, but... whatever. Another page in my book.

On a Highway, Just Before Dawn

you're not alone
cuz you're here with me
and i'm halfway home
we're halfway to home-free

don't worry about leaving
safe if you don't look down
you get over your fear of heights fast
when you're this far above the ground

and when we woke up this morning
we woke up with a smile
just hold your breath a little longer
just half as many miles

quit your job with the school
and teach me how to live
bring your spirit with you
i want to think like the kids

don't worry about the money
it's no good where we're going
i must confess my ADD
these daily routines won't hold me

while my attention's somewhere else
we've already left, we're halfway there
where we don't believe in lies
where we can live alive

you're not alone
cuz you're here with me
and i'm halfway home
we're halfway to home-free

Treetops audio

Here's the mp3 for the song Treetops
Let me know what you think...

Treetops

Hope you enjoyed the posting frenzy. I like this one the best out of what I've posted tonight. It has an mp3 running around that I'll put up in a few days.

Treetops

i'll hang around
like leaves on treetops
and i'm not sure it's where i want to be
on a smaller scale,
like a lowercase whisper
i'll fall as a leaf among the trees

i've seen the ground
many years ago
i grew past that quickly
i moved upward
looking only towards the blue

and through the falls
i held on
and stayed upon the top of the tree
now that i'm up here
i'm looking down
i'm not sure this is where i want to be

when will i whither
when will i fall?
i smell reality catching up with it all
when will i finally
hit this ceiling?
well, i think brown might look good on me

farewell treetops
farewell treetops
farewell treetops
fare thee well

A Song About a Song

A simple song I wrote when I couldn't think of anything else to write.

I'm on a roll tonight......

Song About a Song

turn on the radio
a bit of art i can't afford not to hear
i remember our time
i'd sing along, but you're all too near

and it reminds me of a time
.back half my life ago
..when i began to know
...that music was my life

and it reminds me of
a noise after a silence that couldn't end too soon
so prepare yourself
it's the calm before the storm we both know will come

relax and close my eyes
.lay back in the sun
..until the moment is done
...my senses tease my mind

back to reality
can i make my life a tape and just rewind?
let's play make believe
and see to it that this is the soundtrack of tonight

do all your nerves tingle?
.could you stay up all night?
..and would it be alright
...to release this as my life's first single?

Ceiling Magnolias

The title comes from a ceiling fan in the home of someone I was close to one winter. It looked like a magnolia, with petals as the arms of the fan. The girl thought that something was wrong with her. I remember laying on that floor watching the magnolia spin, convincing her that she wasn't poison.

I'm not one for commentary tonight.

Ceiling Magnolias

a magnolia still spins in my mind
don't let me go home, imagine me one more time

looking back on this round's events
a happy moment was one spent with her
i know i'm romancing a flower
that blooms only in the morning before i rise
when i lay counting surreal ceiling tiles
just one more hello. goodbye.

wasn't expecting any resurrection of myself
a virgin birth brought something i'd never expect
play me a song to carry me home
i'll spin with the planes on my ride
as i drive along and get lost in the sky

let me check... i'm dancing alone
long after i've carried the flower home
no reason to wish for more this time
this round was perfect; back for the hours i'd drive
i'll wrap this up this time, it's mine.

let me check, seems my flower has died
no use to hope for a bloom
it's wilted despite the water and
light and love i gave and i look above
for a flower still spinning in my mind.

don't lay too near the fire
but let it warm our sight
and lose ourselves in the afterglow
of a once fantastic light
a magnolia still spins in my mind.
not time to drive home, pretend there's more time
for the dance of the magnolia in my mind
yes, the magnolia still spins in my mind.

you're not poison
you're not poison
you're not poison
you're not poison

Good Problem, Good Mistake

Women... ;-)

Good Problem, Good Mistake

i'm a good actor
i'm a good liar
but when did this all turn real?
just a little boy
lookin' through a window
give it all back to him

i guess i thought this was real
i never wanted back
i never wanted to have to deal
counter-clockwise
the second hand should reveal
another problem, another problem

she's a good problem
she's a good mistake
who ever heard of such things?
just a little boy
good thing this glass
has blurred his vision, it's blurred his vision

i guess i thought this was real
i never wanted back
i never wanted to have to deal
counter-clockwise
the second hand should reveal
another mistake, another mistake

i guess i thought this was real
i never wanted back
i never wanted to have to deal
counter-clockwise
the second hand should reveal
another chance wasted.

Try

This one came about a little later in my writing career, but April Fools Day is about as good a day as any to post it. Besides, I feel like finally posting one of my best songs... plus a video and mp3.

I'm not exactly sure how this commentary should go. Try was about my girlfriend at the time... we hadn't been together for too long when I wrote this, and we began dating with the knowledge that I was moving away... but I wanted to try to stay together.

Reading the lyrics now, I think most people can take something from the song. I've lost a lot of sleep over the years worrying about the ends of various things. "Let's all laugh into the fire" is, in my humble opinion, a great line. Enjoy the good times as they happen, and remember them fondly. And finally, don't give up on something you believe in until there is nothing more you can do. It may not work out, but that's life. All you can do is try.

Try

Set it off
Build it up
Let's all laugh into the fire

Tell me now
did you cry?
raise the bar a little higher

close your eyes and just pretend
i could use a little rest for my head
can't fall asleep, all i see
all i see is the end

if i go
overboard
please excuse my behavior

i'd make it right
but i forget
just how it feels to be a savior

close your eyes and just pretend
i could use a little rest for my head
can't fall asleep, all i see
all i see is the end

excuse me baby, but i don't want to give up

close your eyes and just pretend
i could use a little rest for my head
can't fall asleep, all i see
all i see is the end

let's all laugh into the fire
let's all laugh into the fire




MP3




Video

Sometimes

This was written several years ago about an ex-girlfriend. I don't know if she ever read it, and if she did I'm not sure she knew it was about her. It's a little sappy.

The only other comment I can write for this is something that was written at the bottom of this song's page in my songbook... an intentional run on sentence that will kinda show you the state of mind i was in...

"if you hurt the way i hurt you wouldn't flirt with all the problems that i face today's the day to make my mark and say i couldn't do the things i do if it weren't for you saying i'm wrong and all along you knew i'd fail at it won't be long you treat me poorly but before you broke me you were kind and swore you loved me. but now your mind is so far away from me."

Sometimes

i could paint you a picture
in brilliant colors you've never seen
the kind that exist only in mind
but in time i'd realize
the only way you'd see your beauty
is if i gave you my eyes

i could write you a song
a melody only birds can know
lyrics with the rhythm of a waterfall
happiness brought to all who hear
but to feel the power in your voice
i'd have to give you my ears

i could make you a dress
made purely of silk and air
fit like water over every curve
but it seems the only chance
to feel the softness of your body
is if i gave you my hands

i could give you a perfume
the sweetest scents from across the land
excitement as you moved
it smelled like love every time you rose
maybe you could capture it for a moment
if i gave you my nose

i could draw you beside me
much closer than your mind right now
you'd dress me up and i'd play blindly
but i'm no costume, this moment not a work of art
it seems the only way you'd ever feel it
is if i gave you my heart.

S.O.S.

It's the end of the month, so I decided to throw a few songs out at once tonight.

S.O.S. is another angsty coffee shop era song. For those keeping track, there seems to be a theme through this part of my life. Anyway, not too much to say about it except this... it's not really a distress signal (save our ship) so much as it's a call to arms for people to do what it is they really want to do with their lives (save our selves).

S.O.S.

We began sinking sometime along the way
a Prozac Nation
20-somethings lost at sea, too scared to scream
for a savior. isolation.
we're drowning, whoa.

but we must
Save Our Selves

Never had a great war, our lives are our
Great Depression
treat water and hope our heroes notice
our great desperation
we're drowning, we're drowning
and our eyes are pleading
a silent S.O.S. that no one's reading
whoa

we must
Save Our Selves

go to work and smoke your greens
blow it all. we're meaningless
you brought us in to turn us down
but to these chains we'll not be bound
we're saving ourselves this time
we're saving ourselves this time
we're drowning, we're drowning, but this time...

Save Our Selves

Scarred/Sacred

This song began as three lines that I put on a page in my book.

I'm scared.

I'm scarred.

I'm sacred.

Scarred/Sacred

begin sifting through
the remains and ashes
of wars and crashes
of something tragic.
the problems remain unseen.

just keep thinking
for another hour.
a million thoughts undoubted,
the ashes getting shallower.
our hands remain unclean.

the fires burning
for another hour.
my burns a massacre,
i'm scarred but sacred.
my skin shall be revenged.

a burned photo album;
false happy faces
replaced with burned plastic places.
only violent traces of
what might have been.

let someone else
let someone else let go.
this is you.

a half eaten life
you left in a hurry.
feel something lurking
underneath the murky
clouds in the sky.

i never wanted this for you.
harness your anger and make your next move
would you let someone else let go?

all we are is what you made us
all we are is what you made us
all we are is what you made us
all we are is what you made us

Enter here

This one is more of a free form poem than a song... There are many songs that kinda follow this type of flow, though, so I had it in mind as the brooding opening to a CD.

I had someone read one of my songs, and he said he just didn't get it. He didn't understand what it meant. Many of my songs, particularly the coffee shop series, are pretty open ended. You're not supposed to know exactly what they mean. They mean whatever you want them to mean. Most of them are a little depressing, but I think there's a spark of hope in many of them. Hoping for something that is never going to happen, tho... that's kind of a drag. I've always really liked the line "false hope is a whore."

It means whatever you want it to mean.

Enter Here

the back way
the front gates
a secret hallway
a quiet day

the wrong in my thinking
the canyons in my mind
the holes in my story
the spaces in my lines

without knocking
when i'm unguarded
through my confusion
when i've been harmed

within insecurities
false hope is a whore
tickles my fancy
leave them wanting more

an exercise in supposed thinking
if i thought away, would you come along?
i think i'm pondering, in case you were wondering...
enter here.

Truth or Consequences photo

I actually did end up going through Truth or Consequences; however, it wasn't on my self-produced tour, but on my move to San Diego.

Better make up your mind quickly... only another 3/4 of a mile to go...

The Tempest

This is another moody coffee shop song. I use a line that has shown up in at least one other song... I think maybe even two. I like bands that tie their songs together that way. One of my favorite musicians Greg Dulli (the afghan whigs, the twilight singers, the gutter twins) does it fairly often.

I used to write the line on napkins at restaurants, bars, anywhere that had a paper towel to write it on... "somewhere scribbled on a napkin are words that can change the world." Not sure why I did it... maybe just hoping to inspire someone else.

I believe there is music for this floating around somewhere, but not on my computer. Hope to find it when I eventually go through all of my old tapes. One day that will happen...

The Tempest

i am anger
i am chic temptation
i am danger
i know no moderation

i am a mission
i am a missionary
i am the moment of darkness when you blink

i am the calm before the storm
i am the instant before the crash
the moments as the rain hits
the last thought into the wreck

for that moment, i seem an eternity
but after the fact, a frame of fantasy
my collection of images
...is a collection of bad ideas.

and somewhere scribbled on a napkin
are words that can change the world

really a raindrop of nothing
an insignificant wind
i may be danger
but all's well in the end

i am on a mission
a storm brewing inside me
and after me will be
a light that all the world can see

i shaped the thoughts before you
caught in a synapse in your mind
the world you want before your feet
your last thought into the wreck

come on now
sing the words that will change the world

Truth or Consequences

I wrote this with my friend Joe one night in college. I had always planned on taking a self-produced tour of the country with my acoustic guitar to play open mics, opening acts for local bands across the country, and basically anyone that would let me play in the cities I wanted to visit. I drew my tour route on a giant map that I kept in my room. Along my route was a city called Truth or Consequences, which I thought was the greatest name for a city EVER... outside of "Paradise."

Truth or Consequences

senselessly down the open road
staring thru my
rearviewmirror
thinking about the things
the things i left behind
forget the things i fear
nothing but an open road
forget the things i know
forget the normal
the relentless yellow line
ending never
reverse, remember
thoughts of my destination
speed my respiration
speed my breathing
another tank of gas or so
grab another pack of smokes
desire is seething

nothing but the music to make me smile
these lifelong friends will keep me alive

spring rain to summer heat
april to may
the warmth i will meet
ac's broke, windows down
even rain can't stop me now
the drops would be so sweet
my will is strong unlike the light
the radio and i will push thru the night
all of us, we are alone
but we come to the end
just another long strange trip
this time it feels like home
senselessly down the open road
come to terms with myself
heighten my senses
think you know yourself?
here's my ulta matem...
truth... or consequences?

nothing but the music to make me smile
these lifelong friends will keep me alive.

Driftin' Sands

This song is purely for my friends Matt and Adam. It is not good, it is more of an inside joke for my two captains. Nobody else will get it. I will not post the lyrics. I imagine anyone outside of the three of us will conjure several WTFs???? if you listen to it.

With that said, Driftin' Sands is a shack of a hotel in Nags Head, NC. Matt, Adam, and I decided to drive down to the beach town one night without having any real plans for a place to stay. When we got there, all the hotels were booked (or too expensive for our summer break budgets). We ended up in a half star hotel with a floor covered with boat carpet caked in sand, lawn furniture as our couches/beds, and appliances that didn't work. And it was STILL a rad weekend. It also references a massive shot glass. Here's my ode to Driftin' Sands and the lighthouse keeper.

Close Your Eyes [how we love to fall] - for audiophiles

Apparently it's a St. Patrick's Day post party.

Here's the mp3 for the longest titled song in my songbook.

And your lyrics for Close Your Eyes [how we love to fall]

Oh?

I was down. I felt like I was wasting myself. Here is the song.

Oh?

never been here before
out on my own
a missing persons
an outline on the floor
lost my direction
or rather it lost me
have to find a motivation
before this gets the best of me
what good is a gift
with no ambition?
time to make my big score
sometimes i'd do anything to be something more

all my life
decisions locked, uptight
now free reign
to do what i like
so many opportunities
but what for?
i don't want this
silver platter anymore
what good is this gift?
where is the meaning?
i fear i've locked that door
sometimes i'd do anything to be something more

out in the distance
i see the sun
and i wonder what it'd be like
just to be someone
i like where this is going
unsure and new
not sure if i'll make it
save friends, precious few
how to use this
finally, freedom
a light in the distance, a key in the door
i'm giving everything up to be something more

Radio

Despite the fact that I never put this song to music, I kinda like it.

The coffee shop where I spent most of my time was part of a Barnes and Noble. Whenever I had writer's block I would wander around B&N, pick up a magazine, a book of poetry, or a coffee table book and thumb through it until something struck a chord. This was partly inspired in that way. Although it doesn't read like it, the song was also inspired by a Radiohead song; hence, the gentle nod in their direction in the title and chorus.

Radio

Sun set
on the day with
phone lines
computer cables
don't, no, don't let them strangle
don't blame anybody

for today
is generated
by TV
somewhere in Holly-
would you sell yourself to
let you blame somebody?

Turn off the radio.
Clear is static, let it go.
Turn off the radio.

anger
blood is flowing
corporate
veins are bleeding
on poor souls
whose lives are drowning
it's alright in the ending

strings play
forming everything
vibrate
through tomorrow
don't turn and look away
tomorrow's not the ending

Turn off the radio.
Clear is static, let it go.
Turn off the radio.

Believe.

I am jumping a bit out of order this evening. By the time this post is published, it will be my father's birthday, so I wanted to put up something a little more optimistic. This was written about four years ago. (Unfortunate that I had to skip a couple years of writing to find something upbeat enough for pop's b-day.) Just a note for those keeping track... some of these lyrics were reworked/reused in a later song. Keep your eyes open.

Anyway, if you're out there reading, Happy Birthday, Dad!

Believe

blinded by the light
these city lamps, they hurt my eyes
and no one's gonna listen
to you anymore

taken by the side
your friends don't recognize your disguise
and you think
you'll take the night off

-
Running
from nothing
tonight, catch up with the leader
by it
beside it
the scene in the rearview retreating
~
So Rise
Tonight Is the Night
The Night to Realize
That Even the Night Can't Hide It From Your Eyes
Believe
To Be Is To Dream
To Be Is To See
Our Boat Floats On Despite the Mystery
~

confused by the scene
when everyone knows their destiny
so why is it better
this way?

sweet uncertainty
is not knowing where you'll be
when this carnival
is over

-
Running
from nothing
tonight, catch up with the leader
by it
beside it
the scene in the rearview retreating
~
So Rise
Tonight Is the Night
The Night to Realize
That Even the Night Can't Hide It From Your Eyes
Believe
To Be Is To Dream
To Be Is To See
Our Boat Floats On Despite the Mystery
~

Close Your Eyes [how we love to fall]

All of these coffee shop songs are kind of dark. This was originally untitled, and then for a while it went by the name Untitled 1. Then I decided to name it based on the lyrics, but couldn't decide between "Close Your Eyes" and "How We Love to Fall." None of them really do it for me... your thoughts?

Not much else to say about this one, but I do have a recording of it that will go up eventually. The more comments I get for this, the faster it will go up...

Close Your Eyes (how we loved to fall)

in nights like these all faces look the same
in nights like these our figures have no names
it's nights like these when we become dreamy violations
that aren't present during the day

[and how we loved to fall]
[like our shadows stretched out on the wall]
[and how we loved to fall]
[after all...]

here they lay again
his words, they tiptoe through the den
here they lay again
he wonders if he'll never see that
place again
the home they left and the life they lead, that
place again
where her words were familiar, they'd friendly
dance and bend
in shapes they'd banter yin and yang, they'd
dance and bend
in a dark that wouldn't hide them.

in nights like these all faces look the same
in nights like these our figures have no names
it's nights like these when we become dreamy violations
that aren't present during the day

[and how we loved to fall]
[like our shadows stretched out on the wall]
[and how we loved to fall]
[after all...]

the days, they end in night...
when the world closes its eyes, it'll set things right
when the day.... ends.... in night
close your eyes, close your eyes, close your eyes
close your eyes, close your eyes, close your eyes

oh, how we loved to fall...... after all.

Panic!

When I was a kid, heading to bed each night I would turn the lights off and run and jump into bed as quickly as I could. Did anyone else do this? I wasn't afraid of monsters under my bed, but I was afraid of something. It was a strange feeling of impending doom, but I couldn't tie it to anything in particular.

During my "blue period," I was brought down by a similar feeling of dread. I wasn't really upset or frightened by anything in particular. It was just kind of always there.

Panic!

no, no, no, no, no, it's never going to happen
it's the reason we leapt into bed in the dark as children

no air
. . no air
. . . no air

steal my inflation, no sense at all
open your eyes in a dark room, feel your way to the middle

no air
. . no air
. . . no air

it's there when you go hungry. there when you don't dream
my motivation, another time... i feel like gravity
and i don't know where i'm going with this...

a grander scheme that can't be seen
i'm taking it all down with me
everytimg we never followed through
i feel like gravity

i'm your breath and your anxiety
i'm everything you've seen
i'm your ego, i'm your id
and everything in between

somewhere between my eyelids and the bed
the fires smell like rain
never thought i'd see so many of myselves
go down the mental drain

when pigs fly, burning swine
you'll feel it every time
beg the air that won't be there
suck in if you dare

NO AIR
. . NO AIR
. . . NO AIR
. . . . NO AIR


And for the record, this was another song written in the coffee shop era.

Like Everyone Else

I believe this is where I began to write in coffee shops - I'm fairly certain I wrote this in one, and although the next handful of songs may go back and forth, this kind of marks the end of my first era of song writing and ushers in the next. Until I get into the full-blown, all coffee shop all the time era, I'll keep you posted. Not to say the next era was any better, but I personally can tell a difference between the songs.

I think I mentioned before that a lot of my songs don't really follow a rhyme scheme. It's more in the music I hear in my head and how the lyrics go along with it... which makes me wonder why I didn't get around to recording more. Looking over this song, it kind of goes in and out of rhyme, and the scheme within the verses doesn't really align throughout the song.

The song is about being depressed. The chemical induced sweat and the happy candy I refer to are antidepressants and antipsychotics. It was tough getting out of bed...

At the end, I've included a segment of a song that was never finished. It was on the same page of my lyric book, although I don't think I intended it to be the same song. It might be a cool refrain or something, it has a little bit of optimism. Oh, and it rhymes!

Like Everyone Else

hot hot heat
chemical induced sweat
the only way to let the anger go
at least the only way i know

come, follow my infinite
knock of the door
the turn of the knob neverending
perhaps (again) i'll turn once more

the faster i fall, the less i feel
...i can't fall much faster.

put on my shoes
head for the door
forget it, i'll sleep a little more
i'll wake up a little less sore

pop happy candy
i'll swallow my smile
start moving when i see the light
the haunting will leave me alone tonight

maybe i feel more like myself than i have in years

the faster i feel, the less i'll fall.
...don't let me fall any faster.

waiting for news of me
four months to life
the sky is ash, the morning
is sarcastic. all will end well.

maybe you're right, i can
see the sun through the trees
despite smoke's still remains
you'll pay for your friends

maybe i feel more like myself than i have in years

the faster i fall, the less i feel
the faster i feel, the less i fall
let me feel, don't let me fall any faster.

~with these truths
~unlocked these chains
~a good nights sleep
~can dream again
~where i live
~a hero's tale
~where the good guy
~never fails
~to solve the mystery
~save the day
~where i am light
~in brilliant rays
~without rest
~ten years too late
~don't wake me up
~i'm sleeping in today

The Crucifiction [sic]

Sorry, leaving this one without commentary. If you really want to know, ask me in person...

The Crucifiction [sic]

Can't remember how this story begins
Where did the parts lose themselves?
Go and find them, Don't take years to do so.

...pictures become dreams
...in turn remember family
...little pieces of the puzzles
...i never wanted to see
...you wasted a child
...while you powdered your nose
...better wash away the sin
...before he's old enough to know

~i see smoke and mirrors~

So I solved the mystery
and ripped apart another me
The paper cutout I'd created wasn't seen.

Throw his arms out wide
Into his windy cross
Let's sit back and see if the wasted child falls.

...pictures become dreams
...in turn remember family
...little pieces of the puzzles
...i never wanted to see
...you wasted a child
...while you powdered your nose
...better wash away the sin
...before he's old enough to know

~i see smoke and mirrors~

So does he fall?
Does the beast come back for more?
I just sit and count the spots before my eyes

They read me my odds
Five to one says he falls
No surprise, my mind's always worked this hard.

...pictures become dreams
...in turn remember family
...little pieces of the puzzles
...i never wanted to see
...you wasted a child
...while you powdered your nose
...better wash away the sin
...before he's old enough to know

~i see smoke and mirrors~

Winston-Salem - lyrics and audio!

So... I'm a late night blogger. When the dust settles on the night and I've got nobody else to talk to, I turn to writing my songs out for the world to see.

This song... pretty literal, nothing special, but it's a special shout out to an old friend. The song title has nothing to do with the song... but I had a friend whose last name would often be improperly pronounced as Winston. Winston-Salem is a semi-metro area in North Carolina, fairly near where I grew up, but the name was more closely tied to the cigarettes that were produced there along tobacco road.

Winston was a good friend and I miss her.

Winston-Salem

i'm staring out at all of you
staring right at me
just stand beside as i'm dying
all eyes on me
its time for me to pass or fail
whatever time may be
i'm crying, or i'm dying
all eyes on me

yesterday i had a dream
or my dreams had me
working a crowded room
part impartially
weeding out those that did
and those that didn't believe
in such trivial things, trivial things, trivial things
as dreams....

i took a little closer look
before sleep slipped from me
there were mocking sighs, fake plastic smiles
but something i'd never seen
a glimmer of hope in just two eyes
all the hope i need.
and they sang to me
i believe in you....

long before these wasted years
in the mind of my child
i held one thought with me
but never paid it any mind.
i held it from your searching eyes
i hope you all don't mind
but now my eyes are open
and i fear i'm blind...

so the frightening light of day
is as bright as my ambition
time for one last push so i gues
that i had better get pushin
push on through these days and nights
until i can dream again
with nothing to hold me
except the dreams of a friend....

she said i believe in you
do you, son, do you
she said i believe in you
and you know that you do too....

Soldier - LIVE!

As promised, here's the soldier video, as imagined by my former band Second Hand. Enjoy the rock version. :-)

[Edit... again, I'm lazy, and this was all I got today... Perhaps this weekend.]

Pause

No music here. I promised to make up for my recent hiatus from posting, but I got in late and I don't feel like it! Thursday evening I'll try to post a rocking video of Soldier, a new song, and an mp3 to go with the new song. Come back then?

blackboxtheater

Seattle

Sorry, dudes, no real updates while I'm outta town until Wednesday... my cousin and I didn't feel too creative. To keep you occupied in the meantime, here's a pretty sweet picture of the space needle. Awesome. I'll post Wednesday night... Adieu.

Pour Myself into the Sand

Another really old song from the cow book. It's hard to put a lot of the older stuff in order because I started in the cow book, but once my friend found out I was writing, he bought me the leather-bound journal. From then on, I just wrote in whatever was closest to me when the feeling struck. It also doesn't help that I used to skip pages between songs and then ended up writing on the blank pages that I had skipped. Some songs I can timeline because of what they're about, but for the most part, it's lost on me. ::shrug:: Guess it doesn't matter...

Anyway, this old song feels a little unfinished. I didn't really nominate anything for a chorus, and the structure of the first two verses is different than the second two. ::shrug:: Again... guess it doesn't matter.

Pour Myself Into the Sand

I remember the clouds that cried that day
When luck turned and walked away
But I can't recall the sun that fell
...is it speaking
...is it speaking to me?

I guess it doesn't matter.

I take a walk along the pilings
To gather what took place that day
The wind whispers to me her secrets
...past my cap turned backwards
...from the moments of that day.

I guess it doesn't matter.

The salt reminds me of the sting
that still resides in my lungs.
I hold my head down low to hide my eyes
from a sun that isn't there.

I guess it doesn't matter.

Well, should I pour myself into the sand
and hold the hand of the one that made it?
Or would that seem childish of me?
Guess it doesn't matter, I'll never know.

I guess it doesn't matter.

Some housekeeping...

News and notes...

Looking over all the material I have, the blog should have fresh material until at least mid-April... and that's if I post every day. I've got several old mp3s left to reveal, a couple videos, and many many more songs. Hopefully by then I will have even more material. I put my desktop (i.e., my recording studio) in the shop today, so I'll have that available to record new music soon. It's been broken for over six months, so I haven't thought about recording since then. But once it's fixed I'll have new life and hopefully it'll be slightly better quality than the old 4-track demos I've been putting up.

I've got a few more really old songs that I know are recorded on that 4-track, but I don't have the lyrics written anywhere. When I get around to it, I'll listen to those and post more lyrics from my humble beginnings. Nothing special, but for the sake of completeness. This is as much for me as it is the folks reading on the internets. And it's not likely to happen in the next week.

Starting Friday things might get slow for a few days because I'll be in Seattle visiting my cousin. Unless he and I decide to get creative (which is possible... I learned guitar because of his example), I probably won't post much between Saturday and Wednesday. I'll try and make up for it when I get back.

I guess that's it for now. Keep reading, keep commenting, and keep sending art! And again, if I have any songwriter friends out there, I'd like to start showcasing other people one day out of the week. Get in touch with me.

Take it easy...
blackboxtheater

3:37am

This one is creatively titled 3:37am because that's the time when I wrote it. I often have trouble sleeping when there is a lot on my mind (which translates into "most nights"), and this was running through my head in December of 2001. I think it's the only song that I've ever actually recorded the date. In retrospect, I wish I had done that for all of them.

The song is about the one that got away. Reading it now, it was apparently written before she got away. I don't, however, think she ever knew this song existed...

3:37am

I've been locked up in this room for days
No reason to open my door
But i've found someone to show my face
it'll be good to see the sun again.
...good to see the sun again
...good to see the sun again.

You say that you don't know me well
but know my eyes won't lie
so trust me, though i'm scared to tell you
that i won't love and leave you, baby
...i won't love you and leave you, baby
...i won't love you and leave you, baby

~it'll be good to see the sun again~
~it'll be good to know you're smiling when~
~i have my arms around you, even if~
~everything around us falls apart~

I'd sell my breath to watch you sleep
I'd fight off dreams in fear that you won't be there
with me. Your smile, my sun, your eyes, my sky.
I have found that some dreams just won't die.
...some dreams just don't die
...some dreams just don't die.

The candle flickers in the rhythm of your heart,
amazing as you stand before me.
The taste of your kiss, the feel of your fingertips
give me hope when everything seems to fall apart
...when everything around us falls apart.
...if everything around us falls apart.

~it'll be good to see the sun again~
~it'll be good to know you're smiling when~
~i have my arms around you, even if~
~everything around us falls apart~

So...
take me if i come home.
take me if i don't.
take me if everything
inside me falls apart.

Everything (nothing) - hear it.

It's been about a week since you've had some audio, and I haven't really posted many songs the past few days (mostly just awesome artwork) so here's a little extra for tonight.

If you remember, or just want to check the post of Everything (nothing), this song is more of a free form story. The audio follows that until towards the end when it gets a little more structured. Recording this was kind of interesting because I had to do it all in one take on my little 4-track. Because of how it was written, I wasn't sure how the lyrics would fit into the guitar line so I couldn't just record the guitar part and then overdub the words. You can tell that certain parts of the song were sung with a little bit of guesswork, as if I were a little unsure how to fit them.

If I remember correctly, I think I only practiced Everything (nothing) once between the time I wrote it and the time I recorded it. A lot of my earlier songs happened in a similar fashion. Last Waltz took about five minutes to write and another five minutes to record. But back to the matter at hang, this song definitely has that kinda wandering feel that the lyrics have. I think it's interesting. Hope you enjoy...

Josie

This song was written back around the time that Back From Canada was written with that same friend from high school. Most of my songs don't fit into nice, tidy rhyme schemes... I tend to like it that way. Perfect rhymes tend to sound a little cliched to me, or they force rhymes that ARE cliche. If you have been keeping up with the songs I've posted to date, you can probably just read this and tell I didn't write all of it.

In the town where I went to high school, we had a carnival type thang come to town every year called Peanut Fest. Lots of dumb fun. I believe that's what the song refers to... I don't remember exactly... but it wouldn't surprise me. Peanut Fest was a bit silly (generic rides, generic carnival games, a hilariously bad freak show), but it was a fun place to hang out with friends and meet new ones.

Anyway, on with the song...

Josie

Josie, this summer I'll never forget
at the carnival where we first met
and from this summer i have one regret
that summer doesn't last forever

atop the carnival wheel flying
in the breezy summer sun
the flowers on your sundress
begging me to come

on the night of our first date
up to your door i was a half hour late
you just smiled and said it was ok
i was born too late anyway

Josie this summer i'll never forget
standing on your porch for our first date
and from this summer i have one regret
that the summer doesn't last forever

on the night of our last kiss
standing in that carnival field
rides long gone, they're fading fast
but this night with Josie would last

Josie, this summer i'll never forget
saying goodbye where we first met
and from this summer i have one regret
that you can't be mine forever.

More Reader Art!!!

Wow, more reader art. Some of these are really rad... thank you so much. \

For your enjoyment... blackboxart


Here's a play on my old 5-minute MSPaint logo...


A cool photoshop...


This reminds me of those inspirational posters... only rad.


Sweet promo piece... :-)


"Hey, man, you got tickets to the show? I wanna go, but my friends don't really wanna go... can I get a ride?"


Thanks, Mel! Check out Mel's blog at -simply stated-

Reader Art!

A reader made logos for me!!! Very cool. I like the last one the best. Thanks!










...and this is now my header...

Lori's song

Well, it's now officially Valentine's Day, so I guess the mood is right for a cheesy love song.

This one goes waaaaay back. This might have been the second song I wrote, about a girl I knew in high school. She had a boyfriend. Oops. blackboxtheater has seen his fair share of unrequited love.

I found this on a folded piece of paper in my cow book after I started this little blog project. I was gonna let it go, but then I decided that nothing is too cheesy or personal or... bad... for this blog. Maybe it's just me, but I only like about 40% of the stuff I've written. But when I'm done with this blog, I'll have a standing piece of work... everything that I've never let people see. As a whole, I'm proud of my writing, but it's kinda funny to look back on the things I used to think and the words I used to write.

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day. Go grab some wine, I'll provide the cheese...

Lori's Song

I want to look you in the eye
but it hurts
and I want to ask what's on your mind
I won't. Maybe I'm afraid to know.

Would you take me as I am?
...if he weren't there?
I'd love to show you who I am
...if you'd love me back.

Well, I thank you for being there
for me when I need someone
to make me smile and say out loud
I love you.

I'll make it through each day
with or without you
But I could use you at my side
as I take on the world.

How like you to make me feel this way
when my heart doesn't want to smile.
Where would I be
Without you?

Art!!!

I'm on the road for business and I don't have my books with me, so... I'm going to put up some blackboxtheater art!

The first one is just a picture of a font i was playing with for the name. Nothing spectacular.



Here is some early concept artwork. Different things I was playing with.




Here is my awesome 5 minute MSPaint logo!! It still makes me smile.




My sister did her 5 minute MSPaint reinterpretation of it. Apparently she can do more in 5 minutes than I can....




More recently she took a quick stab at it... There is another similar one that she did after it, but I can't seem to find it. If she sends it to me, I'll have something for a later post (hint, hint).




And finally, some concept art for an emblem. I wanted something simple with bold lines that's easy to remember. And I love light houses. Imagine that the filled in areas are solid... I did this very quickly with a pen.


I know there are a few artistic people out there reading this... If you feel like spending 5, 10 minutes to make a logo, I'll post it!