Groundhog Day

Another song about another girl. This one was originally called Resolution, as in a New Year's Resolution... but the... eventual downfall of our relationship happened more towards Groundhog Day. Bonus: it made for good lyrics in the third verse.

I should wait and post the mp3 tomorrow to kinda space things out. As it is, I only have about two and a half month's worth of material... but I'm all amped up about this right now, so you get both the lyrics and the original song structure. I'm not terribly happy with the recording... I was a bit sick when I sang it. I sound a little stuffy. But I get my point across. :-)

I learned early on, through myself, my friends, and songs on the radio... you shouldn't break the heart of a musician. You'll only end up in a song later. So with my humble apologies to the young woman this is about... and to all the subjects of the songs I post in the future... enjoy!

Groundhog Day


You in your leopard pj's
Eyelashes twisted in tears
What did he do to hurt you?
Why can't I cure your fears?

I didn't know my mind at Christmas
I changed with the New Year
Another perfect resolution
Twisted as if I were never there

-She's so beautiful when she's crying
-No she doesn't even see, she just sits and makes believe that
-I'm not me without her
-But she deserves those tears, yes she deserves those tears
---That's the story of my year

~ So I'll pretend and live in song
~ I'll wait and sing for one more dawn
~ And watch the sun alone, and watch the sun alone
~ Yes, I'll pretend and live in song
~ Sit and wait for one more dawn
~ And watch the sun alone, and watch the sun alone.

Were you scared by your own shadow?
Or was mine creeping up?
Looks like six more weeks of winter
The coming spring will bring no luck.

-She's so beautiful when she's crying
-No she doesn't even see, she just sits and makes believe that
-I'm not me without her
-But she deserves those tears, yes she deserves those tears
---That's the story of my year

~ So I'll pretend and live in song
~ I'll wait and sing for one more dawn
~ And watch the sun alone, and watch the sun alone
~ Yes, I'll pretend and live in song
~ Sit and wait for one more dawn
~ And watch the sun alone, and watch the sun alone.

You broke my... resolution.
You broke my... resolution.

Last Waltz - in actual 3/4 time

Here's the solemn live recording of last waltz... i even sound sad. Stay away from your razor blades.

(How many emo kids does it take to change a light bulb? None... let 'em cry in the dark)

Your lyrical jump - Last Waltz

And your aural treat...

Autumn: The musical

You know the drill... mp3 time!

Lyrics @ Autumn

Soldier: The MP3!!!

Alright, the first one went over ok, so I'll post a few more.

I don't need to remind anyone that these are very rough. This one, particularly, because after going through all my old music files I've found that the only version I can find of Soldier is missing the last half of the song! And since my desktop (with my recording studio programs) is broken at the moment, I can't re-record it. I have it on 4-track at my place if anyone wants to hear!

Anyway, enjoy the first half of soldier. At least you know what it sounds like...

And for the lyrics, a convenient link... Soldier

Taren - Now with 100% more audio!

I decided to try and post a few old mp3s. Keep in mind that I recorded these in my campus apartment with an old 4-track and a crappy microphone at 3am, roommate sleeping in the next door. But at least you have some audio. And to jump back to the lyrics... Taren

I have early recordings of Soldier, Autumn, and Last Waltz as well. Figuring out how to put up audio was a pain in the arse, so I'm going to call it quits for now. I'm new to this whole blogging thang. I'll get some more up later. In the meantime, enjoy.

Last Waltz

Last Waltz is a really, really dark song. I wasn't very happy when I wrote it, which probably isn't very surprising if you read it. At the risk of sounding morbid, the other dancer is death. I'll leave the commentary at that.

It's a pretty song with music... written in a true waltz form. The chords are a little repetitive, but there's not a whole lot you can do with a waltz. :-) Boom, tss, tss, Boom, tss, tss...

Last Waltz

Won't you waltz with me, pretend I'm fine?
Waltz with me this one last time.
Waltz with me and breathe on my life
'Cuz I know I'm not alright tonight.

Waltz with me, take a journey in black.
Waltz with me, we'll never look back.
Waltz with me, won't you pick up my slack?
I can't hold myself up tonight.

Sing low, sing sweetly this time.
Forget me not, this feels so fine.
Don't let my fears unlock this embrace.
I feel far from myself tonight.

Don't stray for too long
A glass of water to settle my mind
I'm scared of myself this time
To rest in peace would be just fine.

Turn out the lights, we don't need them to see
All the hurt, the ache I feel.
Hold me close, you can't sway too near.
I'm tired of losing myself. Tonight.

Waltz with me, pretend that I'm fine.
Waltz with me just this one last time.
Waltz with me and breathe on my life
'Cuz I know I'm not alright tonight.
'Cuz I know I'm not alright tonight.
Yeah, I know I'm not alright tonight.

Prophet for a Day

Several of my songs have rough recordings, and several others have been played live over the years; this song is not one of them. This song has never seen the outside of the leather-bound journal that I first started writing in until now.

I wrote this my first semester of college after I pulled an allnighter studying for an exam. Instead of going straight to my test, I left my place early and walked around campus to clear my head. It was a nice day, I sat on a bench, and wrote this song in a couple of minutes.

Nothing special, but another chapter of my story is told.

twenty-four hours
still going strong and on and on
i'll take a walk for a while
to see what's going on
it's 9am
people wearing shades
i watch a cute blonde girl
pulling a walk of shame
i'd love to know
exactly what's on her mind
i say hello and forget our crossing lives

and it's such a shame
that we can't talk for hours
a noncommittal breeze
the sun shines, the clouds are cowards
i have to step back just to see
all i need to say cuz
i'm a prophet for a day
just a prophet for a day

a group of guys
still sloppy from the night before
does this little ritual
ever get to bore?
an older couple
sitting on my park bench
do they see my youth and think
of times they used to spend?

and it's such a shame
that i can't see what he sees
but for now i know
the wisdom of his years
they all turn to see me
as i walk away
there goes a prophet for a day
a prophet for a day.

Autumn

When I was in college, I used to play my acoustic guitar quite a bit. At the end of parties, I'd usually end up boring the last few people with poor renditions of fun rock songs from the 90's. I also recorded a handful of my own tunes. After circulating this song enough, and after countless end of the night singalongs, a lot of my friends ended up learning the words to Early Autumn.

As I wrote my early songs, I looked to other songs for inspiration. I noticed, however, that a lot of even the most popular songs used cliches. So what I did here was make nearly every line of the verses a cliche, or a play off of a cliche. The real meaning behind the song I'll reveal at the end.

Autumn

I wish I could be faithful
I wish I could be great
I wish that I had something meaningful to say
I could be a prince, but I think I'd rather not
In her mind, she's a queen, and no one's gonna stop her
She wished she had a problem in her fairy tale world
but on the backside of a bill, she's my fairy tale girl

I feel that Autumn's coming early this year
and I know that my change of colors is near
So I'm glad that Autumn's coming early this year
Mmmm...

You wish you had someone fall
for all the things you do
but I guess you must have missed me
tripping over you
not a bridge that I can't cross, there's not a cross that I can't bear
so when I turn my head, she begins to stare
the candle that burns brightly is never gonna last
but I guess I refused to learn that all the nice guys finish last

Now she feels that Autumn's coming early this year
And she bares all the things that I wouldn't bear
Now she's glad that Autumn's coming early this year
Mmmm...

Better late than never than to never have loved at all
All it takes is just one kiss to turn summer into fall
Not in a land of make believe, no, it's not mystery
That she's the moon and I'm the sun, and at the dusk we meet
Chose to be a common man, but all it took was just one look
Still there's nothing meaningful,
so I'll just bring back the hook...

I know that Autumn's coming early this year
and I know that my change of colors is near
I know that Autumn's coming early this year
I traded apathy for someone who cares
So I'm glad that Autumn's coming early this year
Yes, Autumn's coming early this year.

The song is actually about a girl named Autumn. That might make you read the chorus slightly differently. Have an open mind. ;-)

Soldier

So, going back in the catalog, one of my better songs is actually one of my older ones. You guys finally have something decent to read. w00t!

This song is called "Soldier," and it went through four or five iterations before it got to the point that it's at. There's about fifteen minutes separating me and one of those earlier iterations... if I feel up to it at the end of this (edit: as it turns out, yes), I'll write it.

And so, for the commentary... this song is not about anyone in particular. I just wrote it. There might be something behind it, but... You've got nothing on this soldier. And again, this is one of the first five songs I wrote. Not too bad if you ask me. It still stands strong as one of my favorites. If you must ask, though, it is about a guy leaving a woman for reasons that are only his own. They may not be obvious, and she may have treated him great, but there are things lying underneath that cannot be ignored. It makes sense in his mind... it's a shame that it doesn't in hers...

(And by the way, it's amazing how history repeats itself if you don't learn from your mistakes. I feel it's necessary to throw that in the sidebar because I look back at this song that I wrote almost ten years ago, and it's still relevant. Tsk, tsk.)

I feel that the words don't do the music justice. Early on, I always played in a percussive style that *kinda* made up for not having any accompaniment. This may sound weird, but the style is kinda Ani DiFranco-ish. Think "Gravel." She's rad. This song is rad. Whatevs...

I wrote his after playing the initial idea with my friend Charlie. I'll try and throw an old iteration after it...

Soldier

She came over all dressed in black
He gave a platinum sigh
She knew he was never coming back
Oh, no, no...

She came in with her wings tied to her back
No angel, No more
Feathers had fallen for the last time
He tried to walk away, she pushed him to the floor

You've got nothing on this soldier
But what if I told ya
That I would look the other way
That I would look the other way

She had wronged him once before
And then time and time again
With this last betrayal
His words a shotgun in her den

"Oh, where's my happy ending???"
He denies moderating
He feels desperation
In stop animation, paused by her...

You've got nothing on this soldier
But what if I told ya
That I would look the other way
I would look the other way
[repeat]

[She said this is how you kis her if you know that she's the one.
How he wishes that were true! How he wishes that were true!]

The bracketed lyrics at the end were added several years after the song was written. There was a girl that I completely adored that told me "this is how you kiss someone if you know that they're the one," and she... gave me an amazing kiss. I'll never forget it. She wasn't the one, it was a sham, but the kiss was amazing nonetheless. I fit those lyrics in occasionally when I'm playing live. Only a handful have witnessed it. ;-) (For the record, I've had better... but for the sheer moment... the romance, the poetic way she began, and under the stars with the waves behind us.... it was amazing. I played this song for her on the stage at the Windjammer in Charleston, SC, with the additional lines a few years ago.)

Ok... so... anyway, the old iteration. Parts of it are good... I wonder why certain lines/phrases didn't make it... But yeah, here ya go... see a part of the evolution.

She came over all dressed in black
he knew it wasn't good
she knew he was never coming back
no, no, no...

she walked in with her wings tied to her back
no angel, no more
a piece of her fell as he turned around
she pushed him to the floor

and i am walking away
never looking back
oh, i am walking away
no, never again

you're not leaving me, she said
as he walked away
you'll remember me, i know
her turned and went alone

and i am walking away
leaving here for good
and i don't want it anymore
oh no no

and something goes off in his mind
and it blows up in tears
can see it in his thoughts
all those wasted years

there's never gonna be another love
he's never gonna be here again
the years come forward, push him in
beat him down and sting his skin.

She struck him in the back again
the waves they come from
radiate within the light
he spins to his right

As the moments they burn like fire
It comes down to the wire.
All his anger and desire
the moments they burn like fire

and as i walk away
never looking back
turn and walk away
the like it fades to black.

(the grande finale)

Something alarms in his mind
(as i walk away)
not how it's supposed to end!
(never turning back)
the moments they blaze like fire
(so i walk away)
her wings can't take her higher
(no, no, no, no, no)

As the moments burn like fire
That he used to admire
Tides of anger and desire
The moments they burst into flames.
(yeah)

Back from Canada

[OK, so wow... I'm trying to post these in more-or-less chronological order, and going through some of this old stuff is pretty wild. Blast from the past. I have an old composition notebook I used in high school that I wrote my first songs in... this is one of them and I haven't thought about this song in years. I loved those composition notebooks... cow books!

I actually can't remember if this song was about anyone in particular. I've never even been to Canada... who knows? I remember writing it with a friend of mine; i wrote it, then he tweaked a few things, then i cleaned it up. Funny, but it seems to sum up every heartbreak I've had since then. I do like the line "yesterday never knows what tomorrow's gonna say."]

Back from Canada

woke up this morning alone again
poured myself a bowl of yesterday
wondering why my sun is still gone
only a passing memory of a better day

i search the morning sky for the missing moments
the ones i dropped and left behind
the things i said, the things i've done
to take it back, to just rewind

~but yesterday never knows what tomorrow's gonna say~
~bring back yesterday's sun to enjoy again today~
~filling the empty spaces between you and i~
~where once was laughter, not the tears you cried~

but still i'll try for so long
but still i'll wait for so long
and you've been gone for so long
because your heart was too strong

the road back to you is lonely
and the end is out of sight
but there's still hope that one day i'll have you back in my arms
i think one day i'll be alright

~but yesterday never knows what tomorrow's gonna say~
~bring back yesterday's sun to enjoy again today~
~filling the empty spaces between you and i~
~where once was laughter, not the tears you cried~

A few words before I proceed

OK, so the first song is up. I will try to write some commentary for each one, give you a little insight as to why I wrote such a terrible mess of words.

As I put these things up, please comment. If you read it, comment. Tell me it's good, it's bad, it rocked your world, it made you sick. If it's so-so, even a "meh" would do. You can do it anonymously so nobody (mostly me) knows you're a jerk! But I just want to put these out there and see what kind of feedback I get. I'd also like to hear from other songwriters out there... if you write something and want to see it in the blog, let me know. I can even post it without your name tied to it if you prefer nobody to know who wrote it, if you would like some constructive criticism, maybe the people that read this can help. But let's not get ahead of ourselves; I see a readership of about eight people.

A lot of the early stuff is pretty straightforward. You may or may not like that, but it is what it is. Then there was a period of time where I went to a coffee shop four nights a week and wrote a song or two each visit. Some of that is pretty good, some of it is stretched a little thin. I was pretty much just writing for writing's sake - mostly to try and get better. A lot of songs from that period don't have music to go with them (many of them didn't merit it!) but the lucky ones did and perhaps you'll hear them on here one day.

I mentioned in the commentary for Taren that I really would like to get some mp3s up of these things once I really get going. Maybe it'd give people a reason to keep coming back, if anyone even shows up here at all. Maybe it'd give me a reason to get off my arse and put down some tunes. A few dedicated friends have at times asked about the eminent return of blackboxtheater. Here are those first steps.

Anyway, even though this is mostly just a place for me to keep my songs and hear what people think, I hope you like them. And again, please comment.

Taren

they say when you were young, you loved storms
and you'd dance and play in the rain
i see you now under the tears of angels
how did we end up the same?

when we cry we do it outside
so they can't see the tears on our face
why can't we go back to yard where we used to play
and i'd watch you dance in the rain

i knew before i saw her...
...and when i saw her i knew.

we'll dance under the moonlight with the sand beneath our toes
and i'll sing to you a love song as the mood in the air grows
for now i'll sing to a girl who's a thousand days away
like a dream not quite forgotten, it slowly fades away

they say when you were young, you loved storms
i watched you dance in the rain.


[this is the first song i ever wrote, almost ten years ago now. it's the first in a long list of songs about the girls in my life. there's not much to read between the lines in this one and it's a bit cheesy, but give me a break. like i said... first song ever. if i ever get around to making good recordings of these things, i might include them in the blog... but what are the odds of me doing more work than i have to? shrug.]

Welcome

Welcome to my songs... don't rip them off.

Enjoy...

blackboxtheater